fighting against jealousy!

Lately I have noticed I have been in a place where the not so sly, ever intruding, harsh on the eyes, nauseating Mr. Green Monster is creeping in various places. I don't like him. I have never welcomed him nor have I "opened" the door for him...or so I thought! However many "cute" words I could hang on it though Mr. Monster, whether he is welcome or not, is a real thing. A very real thing, and a really very bad thing. It is not a slimy green monster hiding in the shadows as he has been portrayed. Allow me to lead you through some insight that I have discovered lately.

My situation isn't colossal. I am not in pain, or struggling with holding things together. Nothing to write home about.

Puny really.

Juvenile.

I am talking elementary school playground.

Pat.het.ic.

It still caused big feelings of before said green thing. It wasn't fun. Isn't fun.

According to a article written by a psych specialist, jealousy is caused by 1 or more of 4 things.

-lack of self-confidence
-poor self-image
-fear
-insecurity

Whereas that may be shallow, hang on. It all blends. Trust me.

What I find in the Bible is that jealousy roots in one thing, a lack of satisfaction in what God has provided for you.

The world likes to hang fancy names on it like poor self-esteem, and insecurity. But the root of the matter is that satisfaction in what God has provided you is lacking. OOF! That's a gut buster! I have chosen to not put my satisfaction in the Creator of the world. The One who has the power, authority, and right to take away and give at His command. The Controller of my inhale and exhale has somehow slipped in my view as not being "enough." In reality, He is way more than enough. Even in my views of empty He has supplied JUST what I needed and that was more than enough. Yet, my satisfaction wasn't in Him.

Hebrews 13:5, after admonishing the love of money, states that He will never leave us. He is with me always. My satisfaction can not dwindle because He is not "with" me.

1 Corinthians says that Love does not envy. Since Galatians says that love is one of the fruits of the Spirit and Acts and numerous other places say that God sent His Spirit to be with us then I can't blame not being equipped.

So, causes of jealousy: Lack of satisfaction in the Creator, Maker of heaven and earth, King of Kings, Lord, Crafter of the universe, God.

Multiple times in Paul's letters to the churches he states the fleshly characteristics. Let's take a look at a few shall we!

Galatians 5:19-21 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality,impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteriesand all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Romans 13:13-14 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

James says...

James 3:13-16 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Now that I have covered what causes jealousy let's talk about what jealousy causes. From what I found in these passages I found some very unpleasant ideas.

#1 - It is an act of the flesh that is equivalent to drunkenness, sexual immorality, witchcraft, and the like. 

#2 - I won't inherit the Kingdom of God

#3 - I am not a loving person because love is all those things and if I am missing just one, I am not loving.

#4 - I am irritating like a 2 year old with a pair of symbols.

#5 - I am not behaving decently.

#6 - I am gratifying desires of the flesh.

Ouch...that was like stepping on a lego, only worse!

So now what? I have come to the realization that I am sinning, that it's wrong, and that my relationship with my Father is strained and divided because of this. The 2 questions I asked myself were, (1) how could I let this happen? and (2) what do I do now?

To answer question one blankly I am human. Being human in the his case over-ruled the Spirit in me because I let it. My self control didn't jump in to hyper drive...in fact, it failed miserably...because I allowed it to! 

Jumping to question 2, because honestly question 1 doesn't hold much when you think about it! Where do I go from here?

A lot of times in the past I summed up struggle to just needing to jump back on track like a derailed train. Um no! It take a little more than that. My choices got me here. I can't just pray and have it "all together again." Likewise with the derailment, I have to make a choice to "fix" it. 

OK, OK, how?

First, think about someone else. Back to the beginning portion. Remember when I told you it was shallow. Well it still is. But it will help us here. If indeed my self-esteem is lacking I need to look to the needs of others. My confidence, self-image, and securities, should be firmly rooted in the Father's view of me. Instead of looking into myself to see it I need to be looking at the world around me. The world He loves. To put it simply I need to think about someone else. Be like a sleuth on the hunt for blessing to give. Be resolved to be looking for other's needs and meeting them. Finding my inadequacies in places God will supply them and not in the superficial. 

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves

Have a tranquil heart. I noticed that my time with the Father had be shaved, and whittled because of life that it was like that fast food Jesus and my "system" wasn't liking it. My job was stressful, situations around me seems insurmountable (ok, just large but it sounds better my way!), and I had lost track of meeting with my Maker. 

Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Love. Love the person or people who make me jealous. Love my neighbors, sisters, parents, kids, friends, co-workers. Love. Just love. Sound simple? Well it is...but it isn't. 1 John tells me that I won't know God if I don't love because God is love. 1 Corinthians tells me that love is...

-it is patient

-it is kind

-it does NOT envy

-it does NOT boast

-it is NOT proud

-it does NOT dishonor

-it does NOT seek self

-it does NOT get angry fast'

-it does NOT keep tallies for wrongs done against it

-it does NOT get joy from evil

-it rejoices in the truth

-it protects

-it trusts

-it trusts

-it hopes

-it preserves

-it NEVER fails

I don't have it together. In fact I am still learning this. I am working on it...as you read this. But I am trying. I am being patient as God forms this in me.

Thanks for reading! 

Creation Unit Study Days 1-2

One thing I have found to be EXTREMELY helpful with having a 4 and 5 year old is having structure! I can notice the days that I have not been as rigid and they pay for it and so do I! I in no way have our entire day planned from clock in to clock out. I once worked for someone who couldn't, not have something planned and I am just not like that. When I have my own kids I hope to be far more relaxed when it comes to my days with kids! For now, having structure helps!

One of the things I have started with them is out "special" school time! They love getting their notebooks and papers and writing letters, counting objects, drawing pictures, etc. I started with a creation unit study using some parts of My Father's World curriculum. I only used parts and pieced together what I wanted because I didn't think the way it was set up all together would have been beneficial for them!

For 2 weeks we dove into each day of creation. I told them about each day and they would repeat it back. This week we began taking each day and doing some fun activities to go along with each day of creation!

For day 1 we talked about how God spoke light into place. That we can't say something and have it made. Only God can make things by using His mouth. We headed to the kitchen to make light and dark cookies!

I used this sugar cookies recipe.

Easy Sugar Cookies

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 cup butter, softened

1 1/2 cups white sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F  

In a small bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in egg and vanilla. 

Gradually blend in the dry ingredients. 

Roll rounded teaspoonfuls of dough into balls, and place onto ungreased cookie sheets.

Bake 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden. 

When it came time to the make the "dark" part, I separated the dough and mixed a tablespoon or so of cocoa powder into it. I was concerned that it would have changed the make up or taste but it worked perfectly!

I had them take chunks of "dark" and chunks of "light" and roll them together! 

The "R" and "A" cookies at the bottom are for the clouds God made on Day 2! Quick cover up for Lala didn't make enough chocolate dough and doesn't care to make more! It worked well with the rest of the day anyway! 

After lunch we headed outside to play in water buckets because on Day 2 God made the waters above and the waters below! 

 I gave them small bowls, cups, spoons, ladles, paintbrushes, and clean sponges. They poured and splashed and painted! Super fun for them, super easy for me.

We talked about how God had made the clouds and all about the water cycle! We talked about the kinds of clouds, and their color and what that meant!

Special School time has been so much fun for me to do with them! Being on this side of school and doing the things I used to enjoy have brought back great memories! 

Stay tuned for day 3 and 4! 

From where?

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;

From where shall my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel

Will neither slumber nor sleep.

 

 The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

 

The Lord will protect you from all evil;

He will keep your soul.

The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in

From this time forth and forever.

 

Psalm 121

What works!

Lately my job has taken on a slightly different look! After loosing monkey last summer, I had maintained 3 kids with the help of Monkey's cousin Boogie, and my princesses. Way long story cut way short, I found myself at the beginning of this summer with just Boogie. Day in and day out he and I did what we liked to do. We soaked up as much vitamin D as we could, kept our fingers like grapes because of being in water, and spent mornings napping, and the afternoons exploring all over my hometown! Yesterday my job transformed yet again and now Monkey has returned along with his sister! 

So, now with a 5, 4, and 1 year olds, I am remaining on my toes and there is a never a down moment! Learning curve to say the least! I am having to rewire what it means to have a 4 year old in the house again! It's been a long time since Bean was there and none from my job were ever there! 

One of the ways I have tried to make being a nanny to older children work is having my rules clearly outlined. I am having to remember that outside of these walls and my care rules may be a tad different. To do so, I sat down with the 2 of them and told them 3 simple rules.

#1 - We have to use kind words to Lala (me) and each other.

#2 - We obey the first time.

#3 - We are not allowed to whine.

I tried to keep it very simple so they knew what was expected. At the same time I had to keep it broad so I wouldn't create any loop holes to be found later. After that, they knew what was expected. So I set up the Potato Head. I stood each of them on his shoes and packed in their each back hair, eyes, 2 ears, nose, mouth, 2 arms, and glasses. I wanted as many possibilities for filling up as I could fit!

 Every time I noticed a behavior that merited a part of Mr. Head being filled I asked them to choose a piece out of his back and put it on their potato. On the flip side, if behavior was breaking the rules they had to remove a piece and put it back in his back.

 At the end of the day we evaluated the fullness of Mr. Potato and if the majority of the pieces were on him and he looked more like a man and less like a potato then a sticker was placed on that day in a very homemade chart. 

I wanted the chart to be simple and not overwhelming. I have one for each of them with their names at the top. Beside their names I wrote out Philippians 4:13 to encourage them. I want to reiterate that through Christ they are able to love one another, obey the rules, and get along with everyone around them. Below that I sketched a basic grid. In the far right row I have the week's dates, 8/13-8/17. In the remaining columns they will put a sticker under the day that it coincides with. Sorry for the bad pictures! Phone Camera! 

Monkey got a sticker Monday because behavior was phenomenal and he deserved it! Tuesday started out well and went south at lunch time. After the episode at lunch all the pieces, sadly, had to be removed. By the end of the day he only had 1 piece in the head and he did not look like a man. I think the message was clear enough! 

If they have at least 4 stickers by Friday they will choose a special activity (baking cookies, choosing some books to borrow from the library, getting extra time on the wii or computer, or getting to choose the movie to watch at rest time) or a special prize (dollar toys from walmart, target, and the dollar store. Nothing fancy or big!)! 

So, there you have it! My wild brained and so far successful idea! Who knew Mr. Potato could help with behavior! 

unintentional sensory bin idea!

The past few weeks have been super crazy busy! Shamefully little man has paid for it by riding hips, sucking his paci 24/7, and eating whatever, whenever, from whoever! Now I am paying for it with a whiny child! Our days this week have been filled with reminding ourselves what it means to have to live by rules! *Sigh* for long days!

So, today I was pulling out my hair along with his and needed to find someway for him to do something constructive! He needed to accomplish something! While cleaning out the paper shredder he became very interested in the paper that I had removed from the bin. Within seconds of plopping him down in front of a basket full of this messy fun he dove right in! We played hide and seek with toys, wore it on our head to look like Santa, and sunk our toes into the fluff! He loved it and unintentionally I found a way for him to do something creative, fun, and constructive! No paci, no food, no hips! Success!

Feminism vs. Feminist

Recently a friend of a friend of a...you get the idea, posted a status on facebook that ruffled a few feathers. I should say quite a few feathers and a few statuses. Surprising and bold, her stance sent shock waves through the social media scene as she stated very plainly her view on feminism.
Shocking.

Sad.

Reality.

So many more girls and young women these days are plagued with the media around them. Over the last few decades this movement has been chipping away at the foundation of what true Biblical femininity means. Now in 2012 I believe that feminism has now all but smote femininity as God set it up to be. We have watched as different waves of "movements" have swept over our country taking more and more captives with each return and leaving little to fight.

I am not talking about the early 17th centuries. Not even the women during WW11. I am referring to the touchable past. The years that have backed our current year within half a century. From gaining rights to vote all the way to rocking the foundation of family units in the name of "empowerment."

What has been so missed is that aside from the fact that this movement pushes and shoves for issues that are not "morally" right, it is completely negating how God established family units, a woman's rights, marriage, and more from the beginning. What this movement boils down to is a heart issue that is putting it's best foot forward to underline, undermine, and defy God's law, design, and reign. The thing that those a part of this movement have failed to see is that the woman as God created is far from the weak, unused or useless, incapable, second best, programmable, cowering being just doing as she's told, that they say we are.

God is very clear that we are both loved and thought about equally by Him. **I do not like the word "equal," but for the sake of this, please excuse it.**

 ^...for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:26-28

I, along with my brothers will be heirs of the Kingdom together. We are all made one in Christ. When I called on His name expressing my need of salvation through faith and repenting of the sin in my life He was faithful and just to forgive me just as much and as soon as He did for my dad, brother, uncle, etc.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

God created male and female in His image. He didn't skimp on the details when it came to making women. God created male AND female in HIS image.

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:16-17

We were made for the same purpose and that is to ultimately bring Him praise, glory, and fame. Both male and female share this responsibility.

For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

God loved us so much that He sent His Son for all of us.

Continuing, we as women have very purposeful and distinct roles to play in our homes, relationships, and the church. From the very beginning God designed and created all things with reason and purpose. He didn't blindly set things up the way they are for just "anything."

God created man from the dust of the earth. He formed and shaped him in His image and resulted in Adam. After creating Adam, God stated that it's not good for man to be alone. Genesis 2:18. From Adam, his rib to be exact, God created and formed Eve. We were not created the other way around.

 The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man. ”

Genesis 2:23

Countless verses can be found in Proverbs about women and how a wise woman needs to behave and act. I could sum up several of them but we may be here all day. =) For now, we will settle in the last chapter for the sake of this post. These 21 verses are solely devoted to the apects of character for a noble woman.

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value. 
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands. 
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy. 
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:10-31

Whew, I know that was bit to process. Hang with me. I am almost done!

If you notice, God's design is quite different from what the feminist movement chooses to portray us as. Using Proverbs 31 as a guide, I have a hard time seeing that women as God intended "have nothing to do," "aren't active members in society," "can't contribute," "have no choice," and "have no control."

Let's start with verses 10, 11 and 12. A woman of noble character is valuable. I am of value to my husband. At this moment I don't know who that is but according to verse 12 it's never too early for me to start being of value to him. If I am of noble character then my husband will have full confidence in me as his help meet and as God put it, "a suitable partner."

 Moving on to the next 10 or so verses we find that a woman as God designed is hard working. She doesn't push for equal opportunity and control. She works hard where God designs and creates her for her to. Her hands work hard and her arms are strong, She utilizes her mind to really think through things. She understands fair trades and the economy around her. She is knowledgeable about the events around her and her house doesn't fear darkness or cold. She supplies the needs of her family in clothing and linens. She ministers to the needs around her.

In the final verses in the chapter we find how she makes her husband honored because of her actions. Proverbs 12:4 states that a wife of noble character is like a crown. But a shameful wife is like bone rot. We as women have the ability to make or break the reputations of our husbands. Crown or bone rot ladies, take your pick!

I think this next part is what is going to ruffle some feathers a bit. Previously I have done my best to cover what I believe is God's design of women, God's design of women's "jobs," and now I would like to enter into what I believe is God's design on women's roles. 

God>Christ>Husband>Wife

1 Corinthians introduces us to the family set up. God is the head of Christ. Christ is the head of a man. The man is the head of the wife. End of story.

 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. Ephesians 5:22-30

Springing from the previous verses in Corinthians, in Ephesians we find where Paul is guiding the church in Ephesus in relations. We are to be submissive to our husbands. In turn our husbands are to love us as themselves. Because we are one (Genesis 2:24) he is meant and designed to love, provide, and care for us.

 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Titus 2:3-5

These verses sum up for me personally the things I need to know (the basics) as a woman who is a follower of Christ, a future wife, and a vital and active member in the body of Christ. In them we find something suitable for every woman and in many cases everything in the verses could be suitable for everyone. Especially at this point in my life and being involved in the ministries that I am and having 2 younger sisters and 2 older sisters I am finding that not a single one of these verses are excluded from my comprehension and ability to apply.

Very clearly and matter-of-factly these verses sum up what Biblical femininity means and the design for women as God intended.

To begin, we need to be submissive to the Father by being submissive to our husbands.

We need to be good examples. We need to live in a way that honors our husbands and God. We should not speak negatively about situations, others, or ourselves. We should not be heavy drinkers.

We need to be teaching those younger than us. Younger in the faith and in years. We need to come along side of each other and teach what is good and train about how to love our husbands and children. We need to instruct on what it means to be wise, pure, and work in our homes, and be submissive to the husband over us.

The fight between feminism and feminist is on going. It was made evident in sinful nature and has continued to creep into our surroundings. The Biblical femininity found in these verses sum up a woman that is beautiful, valuable, hard working, and praised.

She values human life before we can touch it.
She values her place in the home under, yes, under, her husband.
She values her time with her children teaching the girls to be Godly women and reminding her boys of their father's instructions and training.
She values how the founding fathers of this nation established and built this government and is involved with her husband and family to fight to maintain the values that are so quickly fleeting.
She values her position over other women and the wisdom God has blessed her with and desires to share it.
She values the work she does to provide for her family and the time she puts into clothing and feeding them.
She values and supports the relationship with her husband and works hard to promote him.

I don't judge women who don't see Biblical femininity the way I do. Quite the contrary. My desire is to pray for them. May I never back down, however, on fighting for what was designed from the beginning.

I am still praying for One Nation, under, God.

Random Romantic Notion

Hold onto your seats. I can't quite believe it myself! I had to post simply because it was astonishing! It doesn't happen often...in fact it hardly happens at all! Something that comes so easy to other "girls" I find far and few between in myself! Ready for it? Estas Seguro? 

This past weekend something dawned on me. I had, have, dream about, don't know what you call it, a romantic notion. All of the random sudden my ungirlness clears aside for a very girly moment and enter romantic notion time! 

So, you want to know what it is. What exactly my girly moment gave way to! We have been celebrating our nation's birthday hot and heavy...one of my personal favorite holidays...and after watching not one but two rounds of fireworks something came to me.

It includes this...

...and this...

...and quite a few of these.

Mix it together and you got it! That's it. Super simple.

Ok, moment's over! Moving on! 

Why I eat clean!

A while ago I posted about what it meant to eat clean. I may need to clarify a few things about it. Clean eating has many forms. The term is typically applied to the idea of food consumption sans processed, bleached, chemically enhanced, altered, and added-to ingredients. White refined sugars and grains and chemical-filled preservatives and colorings are big no-no's. 

My choice to eat clean started over a time period of 2 years ago. I grew up fairly "normal" in the food category. I didn't have major complications when it came to eating. No allergies or intolerances. To this day I don't have a problem eating. The issue lies in the processing. I can pin point almost the exact moment I began to experience issues. 7 years ago this summer. It was my first mission trip. At that point I was 15 and summed up all my pain to traveling and weird foods. As the years continued I began to experience more issues but still summed it up to traveling, eating weird things, etc. It wasn't until about 2 years ago my symptoms began to increase to the point of not eating out, not enjoying "enjoyable" foods, and shying away from more and more. I stopped consuming soft cheeses because they were instant triggers but quickly found that even the sharper cheeses didn't do well either. I stopped drinking milk and consuming milk products on a regular basis. I had stopped eating cooked vegetables, certain meats, and white flour.

I struggled because I didn't want to be "one of those people." You know the ones I am talking about. Special diet, bring my own lunch, won't go in the room with the food, consume tofurkey, types. I put a label on it and wanted to stay away! But the more I looked into and started eliminating food the better I felt...digesting. I was loosing energy, I had a hard time focusing, my skin was a mess, and I didn't "feel" good a lot of the time.

What I found was this: My body, for some reason, has a really hard time handling certain foods and food combinations. I have never been "diagnosed" with anything, but I have spent a mess of a lot of time on the internet researching and trying to figure out why in the world I couldn't eat different things. After a few weeks of eating nothing I started to play around with how I ate. I researched different diets and used several of them. It wasn't until I found out about clean eating a year ago that I found one that stuck! 

My initial clean eating began with eliminating white sugar. I stopped all together. I went to the store and looked around for some other options. I first came away with Agave Nectar thinking I had found a good option and substitute. Whereas Agave is "cleaner" than the white refined stuff it is STILL highly processed and has high levels of fructose. I finally settled on turbinado. In ingredient labels it will most likely be listed as evaporated cane juice or something similar. By substituting that one thing I began to feel loads better.

What my research had turned up was the the chemicals in the processing of certain food built a bacteria that made digesting and processing in my body next to impossible. Once I had this valuable information I began to make other changes. I eliminated white flours and refined grains. I started playing around with other grains all together. By the way, oat flour is SO good! In this elimination I was able to eat things that I really enjoyed again Pancakes, rolls for dinner, and spaghetti! 

It wasn't until just after Christmas this past year that things really began to take off! I had completely changed how my "diet" looked and in doing so it changed how I felt. Over the last few months even still it has continued to change shape and some of my consumption has changed from how I initially began. I have noticed that I need to consume more fiber than most, fruits and veggies are HIGH on the important side, cooked or other wise! I still don't do fried foods...at all! I still can't do pizza well. I do eat wheat, white or red berries, however, I have played around with brown rice pastas, and breads made with oat flour, or arrowroot products and found they do much better!

My reasons to eat clean for me lied in being able to digest but over time I noticed that I liked the way it made me feel. I enjoyed having more energy! The 15 pound weight difference doesn't hurt either!  In no way am I "one of those people." Because over time I have found that I am able to go out and enjoy meals in restaurants. I still have to be careful with what I order and I can't do it back to back with out paying for it later. But I do it! 

I am still working hard to have a healthy life style. I have begun to increase my physical activity. I am learning how and when to eat things so that my body will continue to process correctly! In the mean time enjoy watching me learn because, lemme tell ya, it's a learning thing! In some ways I feel like I am making this up as I go along! 

Here's a before and now comparison. The differences aren't as noticeable by the outside. But the way I felt in both of those pictures are night and day!

 These two are just recent pictures. Like I said the differences aren't noticeable through the camera so much as I just know how I felt 2 years ago and how I feel now is oh so different!

If anyone has any helpful information please pass it along! As I mentioned I am still learning! Stay tuned. I am working on a Changes I've Made Since post. I will go into more detail about specific ingredients and I may post some recipes! 

Thanks for reading and God bless!

My not so poco Poco

A year ago last night I walked into a very quiet house. Turned on a light in my very dark house. Grabbed my things for a shower to prepare for church in the morning. The only thing that broke the silence was my phone going off. My sister was in labor! What had been a very LONG week was finally resulting in the what was intended! My poco decided to make his way to meet us! He had been sending warnings for a week and took long enough.

Everything was very exciting! We couldn't wait to meet him! The only problem is I couldn't. I was 600 miles away and trapped! It was so sad and so hard! Everyone was enjoying my nephew. Everyone but me!

Fortunately it only took a week for me to meet him! It was a long drive and longer day but I was so glad to meet him!

Sadly, those 600 miles have kept us from him for more than we're together so I am totally playing the part of a thief with half these pictures! HOWEVER, take what you may from this.This aunt is so thankful for this boy and can't wait to see him in a matter of weeks! How I love him and can't get enough of him! I am becoming more convinced that becoming and aunt before becoming a mom is the best thing ever!

Happy 1st Birthday sweet boy! You have so many people who love you! Poco, I pray the Father blesses you in numerous ways over this next year! Grow strong and learn as much as you can! May the Father use you in mighty ways!

Happy Birthday to my not-so-poco Poco!

My God doesn't forget

My week(s)in pictures, cell phone style.

1. Visit to Bass Pro Shop with my little man!
2. Bible study with my church. The precious one in the floor absolutely in love with the man with the guitar is my dear friend's baby who will be 1 next month.
3., 4., and 6. church kid's class...last minute planning + guest speakers = lots of time with the kids that I didn't plan for even if I had planned! Playground put into use!
5. last minute kid's project for previously said kids. Thanks to pinterest!
7. family game night revealed that my dad and I think much the same way. Perception must run in the family?
8. just because I think he's cute and pretty much the only thing that's not causing a crazy amount of crazy around here!

My God will prevail.
My God always provides.
MY God is not surprised.
He holds today, yesterday and tomorrow.

Praying everyone has a blessed Sunday!