8 years ago I made a promise.
To my dad.
To my future husband.
I made the promise of purity.
On my 13th birthday my dad personally went and purchased a ring that he chose specifically for me. He is the first of 2 men in my life to purchase a ring for me of such significance.
I hate the stigma that has been placed on a "purity" ring. I feel as though for most teens these days it is a fad because people like the Jonas Bros, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, and Jordin Sparks sport these items around claiming sexual purity. The growing trend for young teens is to wear a purity ring and like their celebrity idols they claim their sexual purity.
Their attempts are good starts. The sad part is where their line is drawn. For most they wear the rings and stay away from the "s" word. Great! But NOTHING keeps them from going up until. At what point does it become "breaking the promise" of the promise ring? What classifies as too far? To most, unfortunately, not much.
I am absolutely NOT saying that all people who have made this promise are playing around. Please don't read me wrong. I do feel that unfortunately it has been cheapened and the promise to remain pure is a fad and not a conviction.
Let me explain the purity ring as I see it. To me it is a promise of purity on more levels then just sexual. I absolutely want to remain pure in all areas.
In My body.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
1 Corinthians 6:12-13
“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
People tend to get defensive when I use these verses. But, I didn't say them. God did. He set up this truth and I believe that it is what I am supposed to do being His disciple. He promised the world was going to hate people who love Him...so be it.
Me honoring God in my body stems more than just staying sexually pure. That's not the only thing it's about. How I dress, the way I use my body around others, specifically other guys, where I go, the things I look at, read, watch, etc.
When I give myself to my husband on the day of our wedding I want to give him all of me. Every little part. I don't want to have to tell him about giving part of my body here and another part there.
I want to hop onto a bunny trail for a minute- I mentioned staying pure in how I use my body around other guys. When I have talked about this before some have looked at me as if I have 3 eyeballs implanted in my skull. No one seems to get it. But it is very important. I am not talking sexually. I am talking everyday, in and out, mundane behaviors that could stem feelings in other areas. I have to live viewing EVERY man, boy, guy as a husband to someone else. Everyone I flirt with, play with, tease, they are someone else's husband. One day they will say, "I do," and it's not going to be to me.
I am in NO way saying flirting is wrong. As a girl it's kind of a given, let me hear an "amen!" Amen! It's all going down to the heart motive. What propels the action? If I am seeking the attention, potential response, etc...I need to evaluate. I also need to have a very bold thick line that I know and see clearly not to cross, let alone come close to. But I suppose I don't need to worry about because everyone tells me I don't know how to flirt anyway! =) But that's a story for another day!
In my mind
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
How I think. The motives behind my actions. The thoughts that bring about occurrences. They need to be pure. I need to discipline myself to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. This needs to be my filter for everything! If my thoughts, the things that people don't know about, can't honor God then there are some serious things messed up.
My mind and thoughts flow from my heart. Which brings me to the 3rd thing I promised to stay pure.
In my heart
Matthew 15:10-11 and 17-20
Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and understand. What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.”...“Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
Where the condition of your heart is depicts the way you act, talk, walk, behave, think, etc. What I do and think effects my heart and then in turn my heart, not effects, but, controls what I do.
So where does this take me. How am I purposing to stay pure.
Body - the obvious =), the way I dress, how I use my body, the way I talk, sit, stand, etc.
Mind - what I put in, the things I watch or read, what I consume my thoughts with.
Heart - the time I spend with my Father. How I focus my attention. They say your heart lies in the things you find important. The things you invest in. So, what I take my time with.
I am in NO way saying this is easy. Some can look at me and say so because I don't have a string of guys lined up at my door waiting for me to choose. Who am I kidding, I don't have 1. But that's beside the point. If you have read anything I have written you are well aware that this is an on-going, every day thing. I am not waiting until I enter into a relationship of any kind before I set up my "boundaries." I am constantly preparing.
I deal with moments of inadequacy everyday. I have had friend after friend have boy friends, serious relationships, even get married and yet I am still waiting. Why were they chosen over me? What do they have that I don't have? How in the world is a guy in love with someone that treats them like "that?"
But I have to jump up to my 3rd point and keep my heart pure. Am I thinking about jealousy and envy or am I rejoicing with others? Am I holding grudges or hoping for what's to come?
It's true that I don't have any "interest" in me right now. It is true that I am still waiting for someone to find the treasure that I am fully prepared and constantly preparing to give. God is still preparing me and him. In the mean time it has been cool to share about it. Thanks for reading!