Friday Favorite

Current fav coming at you! Watch.

Where did summer go?

Fall is my favorite season. There is no doubt about it. But I am not going to lie. I am sad summer is gone! It seems to have gone by too fast! Fortunately our family vacation happens at the end of the summer and in a matter of 48 hours I will be sitting listening to the waves roll in. Quite honestly I am having a hard time making my head not think it is already there! 

Mid-August we decided to head away for the day as a family! I love when my parents randomly choose a day for us to be together away from the normal grind! 

We headed about an hour away and explored some shores! Ferry ride, walk on the beach, and family time! 

I am thoroughly looking forward to getting away with my family! Although the beach is a large attraction, in all honesty we could camp in the middle of the desert and I would be happy just to be away with my family! Things with work, friends, and even church have been just short of mayhem and I am needing some slow paced, unagenda'ed time, no kids, no having to be somewhere, no sitting in school pick up lines, no fixing lunches, or changing diaper time! Bring it on! 

When we return to our regular scheduled programming I have some fun exciting stuff planned! Hopefully I will be able to get more than one post a month done! HA! *fingers crossed!*

But, sneak peak...just because I can't handle too many surprises all at once. Plus, if I say it, maybe it will actually happen! =)

-fashion forward

-conviction confliction

-12 in 12 catch up

-diy dilemas

-preschool process

OK, that's it! No more! 

Until then, the beach is calling! 

fighting against jealousy!

Lately I have noticed I have been in a place where the not so sly, ever intruding, harsh on the eyes, nauseating Mr. Green Monster is creeping in various places. I don't like him. I have never welcomed him nor have I "opened" the door for him...or so I thought! However many "cute" words I could hang on it though Mr. Monster, whether he is welcome or not, is a real thing. A very real thing, and a really very bad thing. It is not a slimy green monster hiding in the shadows as he has been portrayed. Allow me to lead you through some insight that I have discovered lately.

My situation isn't colossal. I am not in pain, or struggling with holding things together. Nothing to write home about.

Puny really.

Juvenile.

I am talking elementary school playground.

Pat.het.ic.

It still caused big feelings of before said green thing. It wasn't fun. Isn't fun.

According to a article written by a psych specialist, jealousy is caused by 1 or more of 4 things.

-lack of self-confidence
-poor self-image
-fear
-insecurity

Whereas that may be shallow, hang on. It all blends. Trust me.

What I find in the Bible is that jealousy roots in one thing, a lack of satisfaction in what God has provided for you.

The world likes to hang fancy names on it like poor self-esteem, and insecurity. But the root of the matter is that satisfaction in what God has provided you is lacking. OOF! That's a gut buster! I have chosen to not put my satisfaction in the Creator of the world. The One who has the power, authority, and right to take away and give at His command. The Controller of my inhale and exhale has somehow slipped in my view as not being "enough." In reality, He is way more than enough. Even in my views of empty He has supplied JUST what I needed and that was more than enough. Yet, my satisfaction wasn't in Him.

Hebrews 13:5, after admonishing the love of money, states that He will never leave us. He is with me always. My satisfaction can not dwindle because He is not "with" me.

1 Corinthians says that Love does not envy. Since Galatians says that love is one of the fruits of the Spirit and Acts and numerous other places say that God sent His Spirit to be with us then I can't blame not being equipped.

So, causes of jealousy: Lack of satisfaction in the Creator, Maker of heaven and earth, King of Kings, Lord, Crafter of the universe, God.

Multiple times in Paul's letters to the churches he states the fleshly characteristics. Let's take a look at a few shall we!

Galatians 5:19-21 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality,impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteriesand all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Romans 13:13-14 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

James says...

James 3:13-16 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Now that I have covered what causes jealousy let's talk about what jealousy causes. From what I found in these passages I found some very unpleasant ideas.

#1 - It is an act of the flesh that is equivalent to drunkenness, sexual immorality, witchcraft, and the like. 

#2 - I won't inherit the Kingdom of God

#3 - I am not a loving person because love is all those things and if I am missing just one, I am not loving.

#4 - I am irritating like a 2 year old with a pair of symbols.

#5 - I am not behaving decently.

#6 - I am gratifying desires of the flesh.

Ouch...that was like stepping on a lego, only worse!

So now what? I have come to the realization that I am sinning, that it's wrong, and that my relationship with my Father is strained and divided because of this. The 2 questions I asked myself were, (1) how could I let this happen? and (2) what do I do now?

To answer question one blankly I am human. Being human in the his case over-ruled the Spirit in me because I let it. My self control didn't jump in to hyper drive...in fact, it failed miserably...because I allowed it to! 

Jumping to question 2, because honestly question 1 doesn't hold much when you think about it! Where do I go from here?

A lot of times in the past I summed up struggle to just needing to jump back on track like a derailed train. Um no! It take a little more than that. My choices got me here. I can't just pray and have it "all together again." Likewise with the derailment, I have to make a choice to "fix" it. 

OK, OK, how?

First, think about someone else. Back to the beginning portion. Remember when I told you it was shallow. Well it still is. But it will help us here. If indeed my self-esteem is lacking I need to look to the needs of others. My confidence, self-image, and securities, should be firmly rooted in the Father's view of me. Instead of looking into myself to see it I need to be looking at the world around me. The world He loves. To put it simply I need to think about someone else. Be like a sleuth on the hunt for blessing to give. Be resolved to be looking for other's needs and meeting them. Finding my inadequacies in places God will supply them and not in the superficial. 

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves

Have a tranquil heart. I noticed that my time with the Father had be shaved, and whittled because of life that it was like that fast food Jesus and my "system" wasn't liking it. My job was stressful, situations around me seems insurmountable (ok, just large but it sounds better my way!), and I had lost track of meeting with my Maker. 

Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Love. Love the person or people who make me jealous. Love my neighbors, sisters, parents, kids, friends, co-workers. Love. Just love. Sound simple? Well it is...but it isn't. 1 John tells me that I won't know God if I don't love because God is love. 1 Corinthians tells me that love is...

-it is patient

-it is kind

-it does NOT envy

-it does NOT boast

-it is NOT proud

-it does NOT dishonor

-it does NOT seek self

-it does NOT get angry fast'

-it does NOT keep tallies for wrongs done against it

-it does NOT get joy from evil

-it rejoices in the truth

-it protects

-it trusts

-it trusts

-it hopes

-it preserves

-it NEVER fails

I don't have it together. In fact I am still learning this. I am working on it...as you read this. But I am trying. I am being patient as God forms this in me.

Thanks for reading!