struggle

I don't want to complain. In reply I hear a resounding, "then don't!" But, let me explain...OK, maybe it is the sugar coated word for complaining. Just listen...read.



I am not normal. I never have been and I have surrendered to the fact a long time ago that I don't think I will be. That doesn't bother me. I like being "abnormal." I know where my convictions stand and I will stand for them. So with that, I do not wish to be in the "in" crowd, nor do I want to keep up with anyone.



The past few weeks have been fun catching up with friends home from school. It has been nice to see them and hang out. Reliving high school! =) It really is nice having them home but, this is what bothers me. People seem to think that they need all this focus. That school some how adds this importance that those of us who chose not to go don't have. It does not matter where you go, what you do, it seems, in other's eyes, you are important.



Today's message was a good one. Don't get me wrong. I gained a lot from it. It struck some cords that have been pulling on my heart for a while. BUT, the part I did not enjoy is how much emphasis was put on students. "How much students needed to hear it."



My struggle is not with a some-teen credit schedule, 2 jobs, an enormous work load, crazy hours of homework and studying, an oppressive professor, negative peer influence, being away from family, and fighting for my faith on my own.



My struggle is with nagging parents, too much advice, tired workers, volunteers dropping like flies, scheduling not working out, procedures failed following in a sick child, meetings with my boss, training, the requirement of being an adult yet the not being viewed as such, and an 18 month old's nap and meal time to take into consideration.



I am tired. I struggle with my job. Some days I don't want to do it anymore. I was talking with a friend who is home from school and one thing he told me is that I just don't get how hard it is. He's right, I don't get it. In the same vain, He doesn't get it. Just because they are in college does not mean that those of us who are not don't struggle with things.



I am reading in Psalms and time after time David is crying out for God to save him. His next breath is literally hanging by a thread. His tomorrow is being hunted down. That was a real trial. So, no, I am not struggling like the Psalmist. That's when I have to step back and see how much light that sheds on the situation. I am not going through anything compared to him.



So, I guess my soap box is this. Why do those who come home from school get so much attention upon return because they are "struggling," while those of here day in and day out are left to our own because we have it "easy?"

My song still stands, I'm waiting on the Lord...because his promise is this, I will renew my strength. I will soar on wings as eagles. I will walk and NOT grow weary. I will walk and NOT grow faint.