20

I have joked about not wanting to have my birthday tomorrow. It's not the birthday. It's the age.

20

That's it...no more teenage years. Over and done. Shouldn't I be in a different place by now?

If I am honest with myself, there lies my struggle.

As a kid I loved dolls! LOVED them! I had every kind you could think of! I loved to play with them, dress them, collect them...I just loved dolls. When I would play I made up this whole persona for myself. I had a husband, a handful of kids. I was settled. Happy. Grown up. Together. I was 20.

Now being 20...almost(!)...I don't have any of those things. I have struggled with that very thing. As a kid I had this vision of what I was supposed to be by this point in my life and I let me down. I didn't make it. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I answered mommy...I never had an ambitious goal. I didn't have this great picture of a wonderful career. I just wanted to be mommy.

Being at this point and turning to look back I wouldn't trade the things I have been through over the last 2 years for a husband and kids. I wouldn't be where I am. I wouldn't be who I am.

I had to grasp some reality about turning 20.

The first truth I had to swallow is that life isn't over. God is not done working on me. He won't be. I am constantly a work in progress! Thank the Lord!

Second, 20 starts another phase in life. I am not a teenager. I am fully an adult.With that alone comes certain challenges. But a whole new phase in who I am becoming. Who the Father is shaping me to be.

Third, and maybe the hardest. God doesn't have me married right now. And for what other reason than that currently I need to strive to bring Him glory where I am right now...single. Is it what I want to do? maybe not. But the all-knowing, awe inspiring, gasp-giving, mountain moving, all powerful, mighty to save, planning for my hope and future-God has a plan bigger...MUCH bigger than the one I had at 5 or even 5 minutes ago.

Yes, I am turning 20 tomorrow. No, I am not dreading it. I feel a bit like Kuzco...bring it on!

Make sure you scroll down and turn off the music!

making the most of it...all of it!

In the last 2 months I have seen more snow than I care to see in a life time! Most likely over 3 feet from 3 storms. School closed for days. Slippery roads for weeks! It never ends!
This last time I decided we would make the most of our fate. So we bundled up and dived right in! We had to clear off the weight off the trampoline and it happened to pile in a heap right beside it! This was our creation!

I love the tail!

You can see how deep it is under the slide.

Hopefully the snow is over...*fingers crossed*...I don't care what the Farmer's almanac says!

I remember 9

Today the Bean turns nine! NINE!

I can not believe she is 9 already!

Bean is our surprise blessing! Mom has called her that from the beginning and it stuck! She is surprising!
Bean is the wild child! She is constantly going! There are 2 switches with Bean. She is on...or off! Bean has 3 loves. Animals, Tae Kwon Do, and Narnia! She can list all the characters and kinds of animals and plots! She is waiting so patiently for the next movie!

Bean is a green belt in TKD and can kick some behind! Last night her instructors comment was...and I quote, "you are the meanest one out there...and you're the cutest one!" hmm...

Her craziness is also paired with how tender-hearted and sweet she is. She has such a soft side! She would give you the shirt off her back if she thought you needed it! If anyone of us cries she cries too! She truly mourns with those who mourns...we are working on the rejoicing part! =)

She is a willing participant in things usually. This past summer I dressed her up to go get free CFA! She went along!

She keeps things fun and exciting always!

There is never a dull moment!

Bean has a box bigger than my off season box of clothes full...F - U - L - L...of animals! Hard animals. She has an equal supply of soft animals. She has a set that she pulls out daily. They follow her around the house. Everywhere she goes, they do too! The school table, the lunch table, tv time, room time, outside, the dinner table!

Her love for live animals is even bigger than that of fake. She is constantly catching frogs and butterflies! Her current goal, to save for a horse.

Happy Birthday our crazy, tender-hearted, animal loving, unpredictable, sweet, funny, beautiful, surprise blessing, little girl! I love you so much! I hope you have a blessed day! May God bless you this next year in the things you do and the choices you make! Be strong and courageous Bean! For the Lord is your God! I love you!

Ollie update

Not meningitis. EEG planned today! Poor baby! This pic is taken after an IV, two blood pics, a spinal tap and LOTS of poking all over! Keep praying!

Prayers for my "nephew" - UPDATE

Please be praying for my "nephew" Ollie.

His mom just texted my mom and said they were in the ER having tests run because he had a seizure.

Ollie is 6 months old and as cute as can be! Please be praying for them and the doctors!

UPDATE -**His white blood cell count is high and they are testing for meningitis. They are keeping him over night and plan to do an EEG to follow up on the seizure. Please continue to pray! Poor sweet baby!**

The English Language

My complaint of the English language is way too long to post now but...I have said it before that I DO NOT like the language. After taking Spanish and speaking it for the time I have, I am CONVINCED that whoever started speaking English was mad and wanted it to be as confusing, difficult, and inconsistent as possible!

Anyway...today my nine year old sister was talking to my mom. I over heard the conversation and only caught the tail end.

Bean: *complaining about something* "ugh!"
Mom: "Well, did you survive?"
Bean: *sigh* "Yes, I survove."

She was right. It followed the "rules" that applied elsewhere!

back in time

Two weekends ago I went back to High School...well, kinda!
My youth pastor called me about a week before and asked me to tag along to watch the worship leader's kids. But, when I was not with the kids I got to hand around with the kids I used to be in group with. Having been out for 2 years, most of the kids that were my "peers" are now gone but it was CRAZY to see how the others have grown!

Initially the plan was to head out of town to a conference center for the weekend but, this wonderful winter weather we have been having changed our plans! The kids were so disappointed at first but I was so proud of them and their attitudes. They made the most of the situation as we were trapped in church for 48 hours!

And, yes, this group does have style...there was an 80's themed night and they went ALL out! Yes, I participated. No, I am not posting a picture! I am so glad I was NOT alive for this decade!Mrs. B's story time! The girls LOVE this time of night! It is a great way to calm down. Not even lying, it goes from pure chaos, to this is a matter of seconds!

sisters! Game playing...at 2 in the morning! It's been a while for me! =) More of the Yaggies hanging! The 80's themed game show night! Yes, that is our future Jr./Sr. class. And for clarification, by future I mean 2 years! YIKES! Nice J! Again, so glad I was NOT alive for this decade!

Miss Beth, as a very polite A called her, left her camera for A and Z to take pictures! Made for some great fun and gave me and Beth some great laughs that night!

This little boy has such admiration for his daddy and what he does. We went in to worship with the kids and when we got back to the room Z lead A and I in worship! So sweet and how wonderful to see praise coming from a 3 year old's lips! After the kids left I sat in the last 15 minutes of one of sessions.