I mentioned in my 12 in 12 post that I had begun really digging into what "future titles" actually meant. When I jotted down my acts of obedience for this coming year I decided not to include that as a goal of obedience.
Let me tell you why.
My mom and sister and I have been enjoying some time in the mornings spent with Debi Pearl. Ok, so maybe not the Debi Pearl. But we get a clear view of her heart on the matter of singleness. In 2004 Mrs. Pearl released a best seller, Created to be His Helpmeet. A dear friend and mentor gave me a copy of the book when I was 16. My teenaged fingers shuffled through the pages not completely grasping the wisdom found in the text. I realize now that I wasn't ready to understand it. God has a way of shaping people over time. Something that He would use to spark a fire at one point in life would barely budge you another. I put the book on my shelf and never opened it again.
Two years ago I was attending our state's home educators convention with
my parents. I stopped by a booth that had this book on an end display. I purchased the book and like the other, it ended up on my shelf unopened and untouched.
The months years passed and my mom and sister and I randomly decided to go through it together. We would dig into a chapter every morning uncovering different truths about ways this stage in life could bring the Father glory. We loved "getting to know" the girls profiled in the pages and to see the heart of a helpmeet explained before "I do" is ever spoken. There were days that life wouldn't permit our meeting and when the book was finished it was like saying goodbye to old friends. I hated to see it go but the lessons I learned have stuck with me.
#9 on my 13 in 13 is to read more. This definitely sparked more interest in the matter and will continue to do so. One of the things that stuck me most in the book was to soak up and gather as much know-how now to be prepared to be a good wife then. It is ok that I know how to change the oil in a car, mow the grass, fix pipes, cook, grill, build a fire, balance a checkbook, prepare lists, and manage a house. What I do with this knowledge after I am married will depend on the "type" of husband I marry. If I can perform these tasks as a blessing to my husband once man and wife than I can. However, should my future Mr. be a man that would rather I not touch certain things on that list, that will be ok too. Just because I know how, doesn't mean I need to.
Many times I was told that I was "wasting" my life in my days of waiting. I had it explained to me that, "God doesn't always plan for people to get married." What if I am one of those people. I heard that, "Prince Charming won't just show up." "God doesn't want us to put stock in a husband." "That's great that you made a promise to purity but what if you just made a promise to make God your all."
I read a book this week and the author had a quote in there that I identified with. She was speaking about her years of infertility and the advice that people freely gave her was unbearable. She said, "You can always count on stupid people to give you unwanted advice when going through something." I agree with a twist. I don't think they are stupid. I think they are uninformed, tongue-tied, and just want to interject their thoughts on your matters.
I have heard it all. Trust me. A.L.L.
So to discount thoughts that I am "wasting my life" waiting on my days as someone's cherished Mrs. I will say this. This book showed me that yes, obedience to the Father is #1. For such a time as this I have been called to this exact point, location, relationship status, occupation, and activity. I am soft in my Master's hand as He forms me into the shape He is designing.
#2 thing is that God does give me the desires of my heart. I met with a wise friend this week and she said something that has stuck to me like a burr. "It was He who placed those desires in our hearts, He will be the one to fulfill them in His time." I am ok waiting on Him and His time.
#3 and perhaps the biggest is simply this. I am waiting, and while I wait, I obey. This obedience is an active, participating kind that requires my input, teachable spirit, and learning. I love to learn. I do. So now I am spending my time fitting in as many "know-how" growers as I can. I have the desire to work on my knitting, learn about herbs and natural remedies, nutrition, and style. (The last one may sound different but more on that later!)
That, my friends, that right there is why I choose not to include the broad and general "preparing for future titles" as a part of my acts of obedience for this year. I have come to be shown that ALL my acts of obedience are preparing me for future titles. If I am pouring my life into His work then I am preparing for the greatest future title I could gain, good a faithful servant. My desired earthly title of wife and mommy is obtainable and willing to be worked toward in the process.
I want to pick up Created and this time make it past the first few pages! =) For now, I am grateful for the things I learned in Preparing. I was encouraged to pray for my future man and his growth now. My wise sister encouraged me to pray for his mentor. I was also encouraged to pray for all the "men" in my life as they work to become the husbands God desires them to be. It has been an interesting journey and I am thankful God placed my sister and mom on it with me!
Yes, I recommend this book to any girl, married or single. Good Great book!
Happy Monday! Go read a good book!
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