My Singleness isn't a Gift

Now before you read, judge, and run please stick around. Hear what I have to say.

I have seen post after post lately encouraging singles to take hold of this "gift" of singleness.

"Don't waste these wonderful years you have been given."

I have a hard time with this concept. My singleness isn't a gift. Please read with the inflection on the word singleness. It is no more a gift than the years spent learning to walk, talk, eat, and well, live.

Or the acne prone, hormone raging middle school years.

Or the cramming, junk food eating, crazy schedule keeping college years.

Or the years with two babies wrapped around each ankle and one on the way. Where days are filled with dirty diapers, burned casseroles, and playdoh permanently taking residence in the bottom of your shoe.

Or the years watching children receive a diploma or a woman's hand in marriage.

Or the times spent when you are faced with the reality of shortening years and the goodness of God's riches that you will soon touch.

So, I am sorry if it sound rash but my years as a "Miss" are no more of a gift than any other point in time I may touch. Every day the Father gives us is a gift. We are no more to waste a Monday being married than one being single.

God has given me many gifts. MANY. I am to waste none of them.

Good and Perfect - Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father. James 1:17  Be it a sunny morning, an encouraging scripture, or a hug from a friend. Everything good and perfect comes from Him. There is no denial that my days before marriage are good. I will be the first one to say so. Are they hard? Yes, but so are the days filled with exams, fevers, or doctor's appointments. Do I long to be married? Of course, Don't most girls my age? But I thank the Lord for this day and the good and perfect He has planned in it. I will thank Him for my wedding day and the days after that too.

The Father desires to give gifts - The first part of Luke 11 tells us so. He didn't capitalize that those gifts end with any specified time, occupation, or status. The only ending comes when we fail to recognize Who gave them. I believe whole heartedly that these days are a gift. But I also know that He didn't specify that they are limited to certain ones.

A future and a hope - Not only does He desire to give us gifts but He has planned out a future and a hope. Take a look in Jeremiah 29. Verse  11 says He has planned out for our good and not destruction. If singleness is my future then I know based on this promise it isn't my destruction and the same thing applies to marriage.

Everyday I live under Grace - I have received a gift that is beyond what this day or this "time in life" brings. When He rescued, restored, and redeemed me by grace I was pardoned from eternal hell. I don't have to live in fear of what the enemy can throw my way because at the foot of the cross it was already defeated. This gift, this beautiful gift of grace fills the words I say, the decisions I make, and the directions I go day in and day out. It doesn't change, it stays the same. I have carried this gift for many years and but God's grace  I open a bit more each day. This gift isn't magically greater now because I am single. I am so loved, so purposed, and so cared for. That my friends is a gift and that gift transcends time and status.

So please, stop lying to singles to appease their desire for marriage by telling them this time in life is a gift. Today is a gift yes, but so is tomorrow and 50 years from now. Please, please direct them to truth. The truth that God gives a good, perfect, future forming gift everyday you are living under grace. The He will never and has never left nor forsaken you.

And please, if you are single and desiring God to bring the gift of a spouse pour into your redeemer. Soak up His Word. Cling to the promises. He has never left nor forsaken you and you don't need a manmade lie to make you feel better about where you are. God desires your heart. He loves you a lot more than you dared think and by trying to conjure up why He's doing what He's doing with a sugar coated reason is ignoring that truth that He loves you everyday and has coated you with grace. Dare to accept it and dare to stop living under this need for more or a reason you don't have more.

“For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand,
Who says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

So I challenge you this way. Don't waste the gift of grace...everyday. Soak it in. Pour it out. Relish that you didn't deserve it nor do anything to "get" it. It is totally a gift. No strings attached. No hidden agenda. Don't waste this gift. This precious, precious gift.