brothers and sisters

This is the group.

It's not the whole church, but a group from the church that does a lot together.

It's not uncommon for us to leave church on Sundays and head to grab a bite and enjoy some company. If we end up in my living room or the pastor's kitchen table for a card game it's not too strange. We enjoy each other.

I've mentioned several times how much I enjoy being around all these guys with very little strain for "opposite gender" attachment. That remains true in most areas.

Although the other day my pastor put a spin on it and I wasn't expecting the response.

The waiter had made small talk about where we were all from. How we all got along and such. After asking if there were any relationships between any of us, my pastor, without missing a beat, said, "no. brothers and sisters." I could tell this took the waiter back a bit and he proceeded to mention that we had quite a mother.

Oh dear! I guess that one was a bit lost! =)

Currently...

Missing these guys!

2011 - the good, the bad, and the ugly

I feel like 2011 has been the year of whiplash. Opposite extremes.

Firsts.


Lasts.


Death.


Life.


Heartaches.


and victories.

It's been the first year since I graduated 3.5 years ago that I haven't changed a job. I have had the same job from the beginning of this year until now which has been such a blessing. Aspects, components, even people have changed but my position has remained the same. My babies have been wonderful. Loosing monkey in June was tough but God blessed me with his baby cousin at the end of August and things are going great with me and Bo! He has been a blessing! Such a great baby! Ohmygoodness a great baby! My girl increased by one this year so I have virtual twins and a 2 year old! Man, I love my job!


In February I spent a week in TN with my very pregnant sister helping unpack her house to take up residence on the music capitol of the world. Toughest week ever! After saying adios to a very teary sister and confused nephew I spent the following hour being stared at by fellow passengers while I maybe not so softly cried off and on...alone. After take off all I wanted was to be home if I could not be back with them. God had other plans. I spent the next 8 hours in my connecting airport because my plane was stuck in Milwaukee!

Longest. day. of. me. life.


After such a long day I finally made it home! It was nice to come home to a fully planned 21st bday party my parents had thrown including awesome pasta, homemade banana pudding, the greatest friends, and fun games! Great way to have my primary celebration of my new year of life!


I also came home to...well, what was left of my car! Thankfully my God had protection around my sister driving but not my car! So, I said goodbye to my first car and biggest purchase! Thank God I had been taught from the get go to plan and save. I had been setting certain amounts aside for 2 years since purchasing my first car. So when the need arose I was prepared! Still didn't make it easy! I hate to spend money! HA! Now I carry full coverage on my car too...spending some money is important...I guess!


March and April were pretty tricky not to miss life with my sister and her family being here. No amount of privacy made a single one of those miles worth not having them here! Late April we made the 12 hour trek to spend a long weekend with them so that was a nice hold over! I hate this snack bite family time!


Beginning of July was the estimated time of arrival for nephew #2. Enter late June. Last weekend of to be exact and my sister calls with the beginnings of labor. After helping with a friends wedding we sped home so that Dad, Mom, Madalee, and Bean could speed out to TN the the following morning. That week was terrible.


I didn't have to do laundry.


I didn't have to do dishes.


I didn't have to prepare big meals and in fact we ate out most of the time.


I didn't have to clean because there was no one making a mess.


It was awful. I didn't like it one bit. Like I mentioned in my post I think the biggest reason I didn't like it was because they were all together and I wasn't there! Ugh! Mom's ultimate goal was achieved and she was there to help my sister with my nephew as nephew # 2 made his appearance! Highlight of my summer! Oh I love that boy! Quick surprise after too many weeks alone I got to go and pick up my mom and sisters and thus meeting my Poco!


In August I watched as my baby sister spread her wings a little bit. Right into the hearts of a family she never met. She flew half way through the states to spend a week being the hands and feet of Christ and a little girl she knew nothing about. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. STRETCHED. She is a changed little girl because of her past summer and I pray that God grows that desire in her!


In September my sister and her hubby and the boys came in for us all to enjoy a week at the beach. It was a great time away together. The first time we all went away together in almost a decade. Such a blessing to spend time with my family away from the norm. This beach trip also brought an addition to our family in the brother variety. Enter bro #2 by way of marriage when out on a mosquito ridden beach with not so friendly by standers my sister said yes to her almost Mr.! We are so excited!


October and November delivered a set of challenges I am not sure any of us could have prepared enough for. Meeting these challenges in the face was hard. Walking through confident and strong was harder. Rest came in short supply but thankfully encouragement didn't. I don't want to dwell on the negative so let's see if I can weigh them back and forth.


Some precious little girls that have wiggled their ways into my heart went through an extremely difficult event in early October and being strong for them was difficult. I wanted so badly to be mad at the person that hurt them. But I was the mature one. I had to pull myself up and encourage them to love and forgive.


Break. my. heart.


Mid November we had to say goodbye to my grandpa. First one of my grandparents to enter eternity. His death left us dealing with a lot of emotions. Watching my mom and uncles grieve was hard. It was stressful preparing for the funeral itself. I hated standing by watching as they had to figure out all the details. No one wants to think they need to prepare for this event but once it's here it's hard not to wish you would have.


Christmas was fast and awesome! It was nice to have some family time! Doting on my grandma! We did most all of our typical family traditions! Christmas parade, Bethlehem visit, Christmas Eve service, etc. It seemed to speed by fast this year. I had a week off and so enjoyed my time around the house spent with my family! I am so thankful that Christmas is not over. Because (way unfortunately) my sister was unable to come in we are all waiting until they will come in February!!!


2011 was a year of growth and change. It's still painful to hear about my Friday Friend that can't seem to grasp the Father's love for her...or her parents love for her. It's painful to see a family friend be so blinded by the enemy and desire the things she is. It's painful to see one of my teenagers fleeing her life here because it's not "fun." It's painful to watch as my grandma find her way without my grandpa.


It's exciting to welcome and watch new life grow! It's joyful to welcome 2 members to God's family! It's exciting to watch as friends obey God all the way into a year of unknowns to be His hands and feet! It's exciting to rejoice with my cousin as a medical scare left her with unanswered questions until just before Christmas only to discover that it was nothing. It's awesome to witness the growth of a family and the uncertainty in the whole process but seeing the end result come to play! It's exciting to be planning my sister's wedding with her as I watch her begin to fulfill the role she has been anxiously waiting to fill. It's a blessing to learn lessons from hard parts and turn around to teach others with them. It's been so cool to watch as the Lord has lead me to serve where I am and bringing me into places of ministry without my consent...and I am so ok with that!


God never promises that it's going to be easy. I am thankful for that. I know that I've done a lot of leaning on Him recently and I am confident that He is ok with that! His power is made so evident in our weakness! We mess ourselves up when we try to be our own power.


Thank you Father for a year of growth and dependence on you. I am thankful that your promise to never leave me or forsake me is so true. I thank you for growing me to become someone after You...someone excited to see what you have going on in her life. Thank you God for giving me opportunities to share about what you are doing in and through me. Thank you Father for additions of a nephew and brother in law. Thank you. Thank you.

Feliz Cumpleanos Jesus!

Merry Christmas
Feliz Navidad
Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Feliz Natal
Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar
Joyeux Noel
Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Nadolig Llawen
E ku odun, e ku iye'dun
Kala Christouyenna
Mele Kalikimaka
Sheng Dan Kuai Le
Chuc Mung Giang Sinh

Happy Birthday Boo!

Boo. Zazz.

Take your pick.

She pretty much answers to them all.

This kid is a mess and a half. She can drive you insane and have you wrapped at the same time.

Energy is NEVER in short supply. Laughter comes at no extra charge. Quirks are proudly displayed with little to no embarrassment.

But I love her. Her little sticky fingers. Her CRAZY hair. Her inability to say 95% of the English language correctly. Her bad nap breath. All of it. I love it!

Today she turns 2. Already the big sister to 2! This girl can eat. Let me tell you! Holy cow! She pretty much loves it all! I think the one thing we've ruled out is plain avocado and grilled cheese/quesadilla. She loves to be outside, running around in crazy circles, inside watching a movie or playing dress up, or at the table "talowing" (coloring).

Happy Birthday sweet girl! I love you so much and I am so excited to watch the little lady you are growing into! Stay Boo like baby for as long as you can!

Bo

I thought it was time to take you on a little tour of me M - F 7:15 - 5:30. It sometimes isn't classy. I'm told it's not a real job. It might not be what someone would "choose." But I love it. I really do. I enjoy hanging out with these little people. Learning their likes and dislikes. How they act, react, respond, grow, and develop.

They each have their own personality and trying to come up with one distinct way to describe all 3 is just as impossible as trying to describe any other group of 3 people. So we will begin the introductions at the youngest and working our way up. Don't worry they oldest will be 2 next week so there isn't that much to climb.

Bo is my baby baby. Totaling at 7 and 3/4 months old he has all things "girl" wrapped around his fingers...all 10 of them. He's a tall, goofy, friendly kid. His baby blues and bald head happen to be a favorite combination of mine. The boy has scored some nicknames...Cam, Bo, Po, Po-Po, Cobble, Soup, and the list increases every day.

He is entering the food stage and doing pretty well at it. Learning that not all he puts in his mouth is "good" but there are certain requirements. Napping with little man has been a nightmare until recently! I was pulling my hair out just getting through maybe an hour and when it was all said and done there was little to no patience left to be had. In the last few weeks he has suddenly adopted this new love of sleep. He still doesn't sleep like my girls do but 2, 2 hour naps a day make me a winner and him a happy baby!

Mobility is his new found joy in life! Figuring out that point A and point B really aren't that far if he doesn't have to rely on someone else to get him there! Crawling has sent me into another level of watching and moving!

The boy loves music, reading books, one on one time, and quiet but only so he can fill it. He is super sweet and such a good baby! I am loving this stage of being able to do things with him! Finally there is some interaction!

So there you have it. Round 1 of my work week!

life as un-normal

I am beginning to think this is the new normal.

Crazies!

I feel like it's been a non stop million miles an hour train ride through the last few months. Since our family beach trip in September "life" as we knew it has been far from a reality.

I am not one to lavish times on the lower end but I can't sugar-coat the truth either. I feel like the last 12 weeks have been full of not so fun stuff. From watching a grandparent enter eternity, to celebrating the small details of wedding preparation I would say that the emotional swing has been pretty large.

Upon arrival home in September the idea of wedding has seemed to consume this house as a whole. Invitations, dresses, patterns, material, decorations, showers...and the list could carry on! I have really enjoyed being able to be so hands on/in this go 'round. With my oldest sister's wedding I was only 14 and slightly on the teen aged self absorbed stage. I didn't "really" care what happened. This time I feel like I have been more involved and I want to be. I am thankful that my job has allowed it! Just this past week my sister had her dress fitting for alterations. The parents of my babies were able to work it out for me to head out about half an hour earlier than normal so I could make it in time to be a witness! Thank you Father for helpful and considerate people to work for!

October was pretty busy and emotionally heavy...for me. Standing on the vague side for consideration I had to watch abandonment from 2 sides with a family that I love dearly. I had to learn to let go of someone who is currently thinking they are living what's best for them. I began watching it weigh heavily on other members and hurting for them. My dad always says something and it played in my mind constantly. People are messy. Getting involved with them means you might get messy too. They hurt. I hurt. Thankfully though it's brought a ton of wisdom that wasn't otherwise there. Just the other day the youngest member asked me (in reference to Mary, Jesus' mom) if I thought God could think that highly of her too. Thank you Father for being present in their lives even when circumstances seem so huge! You are some much greater!

November opened with a new set of challenges. My ailing grandpa had been continually getting worse. After suffering a stroke mid month things went from a slow gentle walk to a fast pace glide down hill. Suffering yet another stroke and paralysis of the body he was on hospice and a week before Thanksgiving we said goodbye. In all of it though God remained faithful to provide the right amount of encouragement from family and friends! The day that I took my sisters to church after we had gone to say goodbye He provided a source of encouragement from one of my youth leaders from high school. She had not been at that church in several months. I had not been at that church is several weeks. Thank you Father for your timing and your perfect ways.

In the midst of all this, work hasn't slowed down, ministry is still pulling from me, I am still watching my Friday friend choose a life that suits her, and witnessing the dissolution of a marriage of a friend.

A week into December and things seemed to be just as busy. Nothing near as emotionally heavy. I am learning in this though that He is faithful. He has never, just like He promises, left us or forsaken us. God says, "yes" to His promises.

For that, I am thankful.

12 in 12

I honestly have such a hard time believing we are coming up on 2012! Where has
time gone?! I remember getting ready to graduate almost 4 years ago and thinking
that by this time I would coming up on graduating from college! Wow! My life has
taken a crazy turn far from any of those kinds of plans! I am so thankful to God
for it!

Coming up on this year I have been feeling impressed to make 2012
a year of accomplishments. I'm not talking huge, gigantic, life-changing
accomplishments. But simple, doable, just avoided accomplishments.The
reason I'm only sticking with 12 is because I'm an "inch by inch life's a cinch"
type person. I don't want to get to this point next year and wish that I hadn't
made such big plans. I want it to be a goal I can reach...will reach.

My hope is that this will be a kind of accountability. I plan to post here on my
progress so be sure to follow along as I inch by inch through 2012 planning to
enjoy it to the fullest!

So here's my 12 in 12!

#1 - Renewed time with God - Firmly establish a renewed way to spend
time with my Father. Not only that but a firm time. That includes getting up at
the same time to partake of His Word no matter what.

#2 - healthy vs. hype - Research the foods that are really healthy vs. what is just
hype. In hopes of establishing a better diet all around but potentially erasing
some of the digestion issues I've been having. Finding out what works for me and
not being persuaded by others and professionals that something else is better.
Finding the right make up to fit together a consumption that sticks!

#3 - preparing for future titles - Be intentional about praying for
and preparing to be a mrs. Do not read: "is in a relationship." But I am
confident that God is still shaping me to be a mrs. and my job is prepare for
that. I need to be in constant prayer for him and our life together!

#4 - Walking for the better - This includes two different things.
First, walking/jogging CONSISTENTLY throughout the week to improve over all
health and utilize the time to pray for my neighbors and friends. Second, to
take part in walks for causes throughout the year. Walk for life, Cancer
research walks, etc. Also some fun ones. I have already planned to participate
in the local Turkey Trot thanksgiving day with my Aunt and potentially my
sister!

#5 - oK - Plan and begin training to participate in a 5, 8, or 10K at least one time in 2013. Eventually working my way up to being able to do various other K's through the year. But like I said...inch by inch!

#6 - accountABILITY - Consistently meeting with a few girls as a disciple of Christ making disciples of Christ. Already enlisted 3 girls and plan to start the study before Christmas! God is good!

#7 - Habla better - Continue to work on improving my Spanish. The. End.

#8 - Crafty plans - pick and execute at least 5 projects from Pinerest that benefit me.

#9 - Good Gifts - Work on being intentional in my gift giving. Planning things out, making as
much as I can (this may include learning to sew...), and making it as personal as I can. Also loading up on my gift basket for those unavoidable surprise needed gifts...**side note** Black Friday is the PERFECT day to do this! Just loaded up on some games and DVD's for $3-4 each! Great gifts! Great price!

#10 - horizontal thinking - Be very intentional about the relationships around me. Parents, sisters, Bros-in-law, nephews, friends, cousins, people I work for, people in my past, people in my present, my pharmacist, check out lady, waiter. To erase "awkward" moments and be Christ to
those around me. Unhindered.

#11 - packing it in - Plan out beginning in January items to pick up throughout the year so that when the OCC deadline comes in November I will be ready with not 1 but 6 boxes to send! One for each age category and gender!

#12 - organi...where did I put that? - Find ways to better organize my calendar, budget, room, craft supplies, life!

with a joyful heart

Today I am thankful for this group of people! All 10 of them. I am so thankful that I am the 11th. I know that God knew what I needed when He made me and gave me them!

I love our growing supply of brothers.

I love the addition of nephews.

I love my parents multi-decade marriage.

I love my oldest sister and her husband's relationship grow and the examples they are to me, my sisters, and my nephews.

I love my next oldest sister's beginning relationship with her soon hubby to be and how they have sought to glorify the Father in everything they do.

I love my little sister's zest and excitement for life.

I love my littlest sister's innocence and joy in the little things that reminds all of us "big" kids that she's still little.

What can I say?! I have a lot to be thankful for!

esteem enhancer and maturity meter

It happened just like the movies, just like she always thought it would, but not like she wanted it to.

He walked her to her car. Opened the doors. Took the bags from her arm and placed them in the back seat. His slight touch wasn't in the least bit offensive or invasive. He was gentle, making small comments about the weather and the evening.

Small talk followed them all the way until she was seated in the driver's seat, car on, and soft music playing, and he was leaning against the outside of her door talking through the open window.

Without much hesitation or strain the words came from his mouth confident and sure he already knew her answer.

Those six little words. Every girl at some point wants to hear a variation of them in her lifetime. They are esteem enhancers. He found her desirable enough to ask to be seen alone with her in public. That he wants to be labeled "together." That she is worth the time of a relationship.

The look of confusion crossed her face. The only time she'd ever been faced with an answer she was about to give was with guys that had little respect for her or her family or convictions. Then the answer was simple, blatant, and obvious.

A wave of thoughts crashed over her thinking. Thought after thought tumbled in her mind like seashells under a currant. But, unlike the ocean the turmoil ceased and the answer wasn't as cloudy as she thought.

This is where those six esteem enhancer words became a maturity meter. The attention was wonderful. The thought of being sought after was flattering. The idea of being in a "relationship" was exciting. But they were not what she wanted.

She wanted something forever. Not a couple dates, facebook status changer, free time filler, half a year fun time.

She wanted to be lead spiritually, emotionally from now until death did them part.

She wanted her next "relationship" to be her last. She had no intention of throwing her heart at anyone to have anything done to it and returned at some point tattered and scarred.

She never once thought that would be his intentions but the maturity meter in those words made her search for the details she was looking for and she didn't find them. Where she might have at one point jumped on the opportunity her desires to be the Father's desires won out in the end. She knew that He was preparing the best for her and patience is key.

You see my friends, her heart is whole and untouched. The only people who have access are her father and her Father. That's it. It will only be released to one other man in her lifetime. That's it. One day her father will hand it over with her Father's leading. Until that day comes it is to be left untouched, protected, whole, and pure.

She didn't leave that night regretting her decision. She left knowing confidently that he wasn't the one her heart would belong to. She was sure and peaceful about it.

In the end those six words served both purposes. They did enhance her esteem. They also tested her maturity. She is still anticipating what future her Father is preparing her for and for her. Right now, I'm pretty sure she is happily enjoying Him.

That my friends is a wonderful start to a happily forever after.